September Seems to Be My Month for Writing

Yes, September seems to be the month I post to this blog. Once a year seems better than once every two years so I will give myself credit and move on…

What finally got me back here to post? Priorities!

The article below is making review my priorities. See the bold.

Holly Butcher posted her advice to the world, 24 hours before she died of cancer. Her message helps me prioritize…

“It’s a strange thing to realise and accept your mortality at 26 years young. It’s just one of those things you ignore. The days tick by and you just expect they will keep on coming; Until the unexpected happens. I always imagined myself growing old, wrinkled and grey- most likely caused by the beautiful family (lots of kiddies) I planned on building with the love of my life. I want that so bad it hurts.

That’s the thing about life; It is fragile, precious and unpredictable and each day is a gift, not a given right.

I’m 27 now. I don’t want to go. I love my life. I am happy.. I owe that to my loved ones. But the control is out of my hands.

I haven’t started this ‘note before I die’ so that death is feared – I like the fact that we are mostly ignorant to it’s inevitability.. Except when I want to talk about it and it is treated like a ‘taboo’ topic that will never happen to any of us.. That’s been a bit tough. I just want people to stop worrying so much about the small, meaningless stresses in life and try to remember that we all have the same fate after it all so do what you can to make your time feel worthy and great, minus the bullshit.

I have dropped lots of my thoughts below as I have had a lot of time to ponder life these last few months. Of course it’s the middle of the night when these random things pop in my head most!

1) Those times you are whinging about ridiculous things (something I have noticed so much these past few months), just think about someone who is really facing a problem. Be grateful for your minor issue and get over it. It’s okay to acknowledge that something is annoying but try not to carry on about it and negatively effect other people’s days.

2) Once you do that, get out there and take a freaking big breath of that fresh Aussie air deep in your lungs, look at how blue the sky is and how green the trees are; It is so beautiful. Think how lucky you are to be able to do just that – breathe.

3) You might have got caught in bad traffic today, or had a bad sleep because your beautiful babies kept you awake, or your hairdresser cut your hair too short. Your new fake nails might have got a chip, your boobs are too small, or you have cellulite on your arse and your belly is wobbling.

Let all that sh*t go.. I swear you will not be thinking of those things when it is your turn to go. It is all SO insignificant when you look at life as a whole. I’m watching my body waste away right before my eyes with nothing I can do about it and all I wish for now is that I could have just one more Birthday or Christmas with my family, or just one more day with my partner and dog. Just one more.

4) I hear people complaining about how terrible work is or about how hard it is to exercise – Be grateful you are physically able to. Work and exercise may seem like such trivial things … until your body doesn’t allow you to do either of them.

I tried to live a healthy life, in fact, that was probably my major passion. Appreciate your good health and functioning body- even if it isn’t your ideal size. Look after it and embrace how amazing it is. Move it and nourish it with fresh food. Don’t obsess over it.

5) Remember there are more aspects to good health than the physical body.. work just as hard on finding your mental, emotional and spiritual happiness too. That way you might realise just how insignificant and unimportant having this stupidly portrayed perfect social media body really is.. While on this topic, delete any account that pops up on your news feeds that gives you any sense of feeling sh*t about yourself. Friend or not.. Be ruthless for your own well-being.

6) Be grateful for each day you don’t have pain and even the days where you are unwell with man flu, a sore back or a sprained ankle, accept it is sh*t but be thankful it isn’t life threatening and will go away.

7) Whinge less, people! .. And help each other more.

😎 Give, give, give. It is true that you gain more happiness doing things for others than doing them for yourself. I wish I did this more. Since I have been sick, I have met the most incredibly giving and kind people and been the receiver of the most thoughtful and loving words and support from my family, friends and strangers; More than I could I ever give in return. I will never forget this and will be forever grateful to all of these people.

9) It is a weird thing having money to spend at the end.. when you’re dying. It’s not a time you go out and buy material things that you usually would, like a new dress. It makes you think how silly it is that we think it is worth spending so much money on new clothes and ‘things’ in our lives.

Buy your friend something kind instead of another dress, beauty product or jewelry for that next wedding. 1. No-one cares if you wear the same thing twice 2. It feels good. Take them out for a meal, or better yet, cook them a meal. Shout their coffee. Give/ buy them a plant, a massage or a candle and tell them you love them when you give it to them.

10) Value other people’s time. Don’t keep them waiting because you are sh*t at being on time. Get ready earlier if you are one of those people and appreciate that your friends want to share their time with you, not sit by themselves, waiting on a mate. You will gain respect too! Amen sister.

11) This year, our family agreed to do no presents and despite the tree looking rather sad and empty (I nearly cracked Christmas Eve!), it was so nice because people didn’t have the pressure of shopping and the effort went into writing a nice card for each other. Plus imagine my family trying to buy me a present knowing they would probably end up with it themselves.. strange! It might seem lame but those cards mean more to me than any impulse purchase could. Mind you, it was also easier to do in our house because we had no little kiddies there. Anyway, moral of the story- presents are not needed for a meaningful Christmas. Moving on.

12) Use your money on experiences. Or at least don’t miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material sh*t.

13) Put in the effort to do that day trip to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes in the sand. Wet your face with salt water.

14) Get amongst nature.

15) Try just enjoying and being in moments rather than capturing them through the screen of your phone. Life isn’t meant to be lived through a screen nor is it about getting the perfect photo.. enjoy the bloody moment, people! Stop trying to capture it for everyone else.

Random rhetorical question. Are those several hours you spend doing your hair and make up each day or to go out for one night really worth it? I’ve never understood this about females🤔.

16) Get up early sometimes and listen to the birds while you watch the beautiful colours the sun makes as it rises.

17) Listen to music.. really listen. Music is therapy. Old is best.

18) Cuddle your dog. Far out, I will miss that.

19) Talk to your friends. Put down your phone. Are they doing okay?

20) Travel if it’s your desire, don’t if it’s not.

21) Work to live, don’t live to work.

Seriously, do what makes your heart feel happy.

22) Eat the cake. Zero guilt.

23) Say no to things you really don’t want to do.

24) Don’t feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life.. you might want a mediocre life and that is so okay.

25) Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with everything you have.

26) Also, remember if something is making you miserable, you do have the power to change it – in work or love or whatever it may be. Have the guts to change. You don’t know how much time you’ve got on this earth so don’t waste it being miserable. I know that is said all the time but it couldn’t be more true.

‘Til we meet again.”

And we will meet again soon. Blogging makes my heart feel happy so I will be stopping by more often to share my thoughts with all seven of you. 😊

Schedule

And in the blink of an eye, a month has come and gone. How does that happen?!

In order that my blog reboot be a success, I need to post on a somewhat regular basis. Once every two years seems less than ambitious. Weekly seems just a bit too far in the other direction. So monthly or more it is.

The topic of goals seems like a good one to continue on now that I have set my goal for my blog posting cadence. Plus my last blog post was also about goals or at least about the mindset of thinking about what to do with my time. The new school year and then the holidays get me in this mode every year.

Recently I’ve been reading a bit about goal setting and journaling. One friend excitedly told me about her new 90 day journal. Turns out it is a combination of goal setting, task listing, and journaling. Part of the idea is to set goals for 90 days and then smaller chunks of time. Then on a daily basis these goals and chunks are tracked and monitored. The other thing is to reflect on what went well and what could be improved every day.

A second friend has been working on creating his own journal which is inspired by Tim Ferris, author of the 4 Hour Work Day. He asked for some feedback a while ago so I’ve been thinking about what is most important to track. For a number of years I’ve had a variety of morning routines and evening routines that I’ve followed to varying degrees. And quotes…I like quotes in my journal to keep me inspired.

Then it happened. I purchased my own version of the 90 day journal. I’ve carried it around for a few days thinking about it. The timing is right to pick my goals for the end of 2018 and set myself up for an even better 2019. What does the future hold?

(Glad I made the push to post TODAY to get in a September post. Two posts in a row!)

 

Gotta Start Somewhere

Today is the day. I’ve been thinking about restarting this blog for a while now and today is the day. Actually, tonight is the night. It is 11:11pm and I should be sleeping. Instead I checked email one more time before heading to bed and saw that a good friend restarted his blog today.

We haven’t talked in a while so it was good to get caught up on what is going on. Or at least what he decided to post about in his blog. And rather than waiting until that perfect moment with that perfect topic, I decided I would login and just get started.

Step one: remember what my blog is called and what the credentials are. As you can see, I managed that.

Step two: write something. Technically I’ve succeeded in that as well. But really, why am I writing and how will I bring back the habit of posting? Why? I suppose I like getting thoughts down on “paper” as it helps me process things. And I like the feedback I get on some of my posts. I’ve learned more about writing and processes and posting from my day gig. How? Just do it. Don’t get hung up on topics and timing and bigger purpose.

Oh, bigger purpose! This time of year I always find myself in discussions with friends about the bigger purpose of life. Maybe it is the start of the school year. What are we doing here? Where are we going? What impact will we have in the long run?

But is that really important? Maybe it isn’t about the bigger purpose. Maybe it is about the little things. The small kindnesses we do for others. The small steps we take toward our big goals. Maybe…

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” – Laozi

Labor of Love

Today is Labor Day and this year I seem to be doing holiday posts. (Okay, not sure we can call Pi Day a holiday, but please indulge me.) That got me thinking about work which lead me to think about my job which brought me to the phrase “labor of love” since I really do love my job.

I love the work I’m charged with — writing content to help people get access to the actionable insights in their data. It meshes with my goal in getting my Masters in Library Science…to help people get access to the information they need. I love the people I work with — they have a spirit and a passion and a genuine camaraderie. These are people I’m excited to collaborate with and learn from. They care about what they are doing and care about each other. I love the management at this company — they push us to work hard and are right there in it with us each step of the way. I love my commute — its the best 40 minute commute ever! I walk to work four days a week and drive with my boss the other day. That means I get exercise and social time (as I either text family and friends or make calls on my walks) or I get one-on-one time with my boss. That’s a win either way. And I love the challenges. I don’t always like the challenges, but I always come back to loving them as they help me grow.

The writing is a challenge. It is a stretch for me to claim authority about anything…there is always more to learn. But I am learning that I can share my perspective with others as something they can learn from…not because I know all but because they can share in the journey. Plus my boss reads over most things and tweaks to make it better…another opportunity for me to learn! The interesting thing about the people I work with is that they aren’t best friends and it isn’t all lovey dovey. As I think about it more, it is about respect. It is about taking care of things so the other person can shine. And even in the relationships that aren’t that easy, there is space to learn from the struggle…and if you know me, you know I love to learn! The management is a bit scary…they are all wicked smart which can be intimidating. They are all very approachable but I’m afraid to open my mouth for fear of letting them down. I’ll just keep studying to meet them at their heights. As for the commute, I’m a bit concerned about the winter months. Yes, I live in sunny California but if we are lucky, we will get rain. Will I keep up my walking in the rain and the cold? I hope so because I fear if I drive once, I’ll fall into the habit of driving (as it would be easier). Maybe I need to invest in a good rain coat and big umbrella. And may this be my biggest challenge!

Wishing you the good fortune to find a labor you can love! And now off to the picnics and barbecues! Enjoy!

 

 

Day 8: 101 Happy Days: Appreciation

Last week one of the people I work with gave me an unexpected card. I had done some listening and shared a few ideas with her the previous week when she reached out for help. I love being there for others. I’ve often been told that I am a good listener so I didn’t think too much about this session. She said the card was long overdue thanks for all those incidences when I took the time to listen.

 

As you can imagine, I was pleasantly surprised and had an extra bounce in my step all week! That got me thinking about the people I should be showing appreciation. I’m usually pretty good at showing my appreciation but that doesn’t mean there isn’t room for improvement.

Happy Pi Day

Today is Pi Day…which for some people means math, others think of pie, while still others go for pizza pie.

 

For me, I’ll go for pie. Specifically I think of my friend RS who makes five to seven pies for Thanksgiving each year. Yep, that is what you are seeing in the picture above…pies (plus a tart and a home made chocolate wishbone). She and I were talking the other day about a different kind of pie…pie charts. Specifically how one balances the pie chart of life.

We were talking about all that we have to fit into our days. How do we balance all the demands and do what moves us forward?

 

Of course, Pi Day is about math…so how does it all add up? We have only so many hours in a day. We want to spend time with family and friends. Add to that our day jobs in whatever form that may take. There are all the wonderful organizations we want to support which seem to multiply as time goes on and we are introduced to additional volunteer opportunities. Subtract the chores of living life that have to get done so we can eat good meals and wear clean clothes. And this doesn’t account for hobbies or vacations…

While we can reach out for the support of friends or family and try to multitask, the rubber meets the road in our priorities. Our priorities follow from our mission or vision of our life. What is my vision for my future? If I know this, then I can figure out what I need to be spending my time on and can focus my efforts there. This makes the juggling easier because I know why I’m doing what I’m doing and can say no to things that don’t get me where I want to be.

 

And right now, I want to be in my favorite chair curled up with a good book and nice piece of pumpkin.

Leap Day Love

Why do I hesitate? Why do I question and try to anticipate every possibility before stepping into something new? I’m a Girl Scout and want to be prepared just like they taught us in the olden days, of course.

Being prepared feels good. I love when someone needs something…a bandaid, an umbrella, sunscreen, or just the right words…and I’m able to help. Being ready for whatever comes my way gives me confidence and brings a smile to my face. Of course I want to be prepared.

But what of all those opportunities I miss while I’m busy anticipating all the possible permutations of a given imaginary future situation?

Some of my best decisions have been those leaps of faith I’ve taken without much forethought…my semester in England where I knew no one, the extra month I spent in India, the start up I joined at the beginning of the dotbomb, that guy I dated from a FB thread…the list goes on.

There is something to be said about being prepared before stepping into the storm. But there is also good reason to take the leap and adjusting course as time and experience show the way.

May you leap fearlessly into the unknown, with devotion and a wide-open heart. Wishing you a Happy Leap Day!

Day 7: 101 Happy Days – Sizzler Circa 1991 Inspires

Take a watch of this 1991 commercial for Sizzler restaurants and tell me it doesn’t make you happy. And by happy, I mean torn between patriotism and spasms of giggling. Go on now. Give it a watch…all the way to the fabulous finish.

(Yes, this was a test of your persistence…did you make it all the way through the almost five minutes to the whisper-y ending? Did it make you smile?)

You may be asking what this ad has to do with my career search. Those of you who know me well know that my very first job was working as a waitress for Sizzler. I wore a brown polyester uniform and learned to stack four plates of food on one arm. My job at Sizzler taught me leadership skills as I was training new hires after being there only a few months. I also learned people management…both my coworkers and the general public. And I made life long friends! In fact, I had lunch with one and dinner with another Sizzler friend just last week.

Networking! You may be asking yourself how I scored a job at such a sizzling place. It was networking. My friend and I went in to Sizzler almost every day after school for an ice tea. We got to talking to people and one day the store manager asked us if we wanted to work for him. Since we were there any way, why not?

Marketing! Oh there are so many things to say about this commercial from a marketing viewpoint. First off, it is waaaay too long! I love Sizzler, appreciate history, and lived through this time period but could barely hang on. The patriotic message gets through but is that what motivates us to choose a place to eat? Why in the world is that woman licking her lips like that? And where is the Malibu Chicken?! Of course, to give the commercial a true critique, we would need to time travel back to 1990 to figure out whether this was appropriate for  the time.

Happy! This ad brought back many happy memories! Happy Day Seven!

Using All Five Senses

With renewed energy, I’m looking everywhere for career inspiration. A friend mentioned the five senses in a completely non-job context but once our conversation was over, I started to think about how I could use all five senses to look for my dream job. How can hearing, sight, smell, taste, and touch help me?

The easiest two are hearing and sight…I can hear what family, friends, and colleagues have to say about job leads and in informational interviews. Listening to podcasts and books on tape can help make me a better candidate too. I can also think about and manage what others hear from me. I’ll use my sense of sight to read up on different ways to know myself & the market and see what job openings I come across. Thinking about how others see me will help me manage the messages I send. This includes both the way I dress and my behavior.

The sense of smell and sense of taste are a bit of a conundrum as far as my current career exploration goes. Maybe if I were to create a new ice cream flavor or blend a nice wine these senses would play a part. For my current areas of interest, library science, archives, and marketing, a more metaphorical approach makes more sense. I’ll sniff out job leads and shower before all networking events. I’ll do research to get a taste of how a particular company does business. And I’ll make every effort to never leave a bad taste in anyone’s mouth when we interact.

Sense of touch is more about reaching out to people rather than physically touching them (although I love a good hug when appropriate). The pundits say that finding the right job is more about who you know rather than what you know so keeping in touch with my network is important. In some sense, this is an easy one for me since I love a good spreadsheet and networking is a numbers game. The tricky bit is how to do this touching in a way that works for me and for those I am reaching out to touch. Do I reach out asking for specific help or do I simply reach out to say hello? Maybe I shouldn’t overthink it too much and just start reaching out and marking up that spreadsheet!

That is my take on the five senses and how I might apply them to my career search. Of course, any career change or job hunt requires a big, continual dose of common sense. And the most important thing in a search like this is a sense of humor! At least that is how I sense things…

Day 6: 101 Happy Days

Since I’m back to my search for the perfect job for me, I’m back to this blog and to the Happy Days series. I didn’t get too far (five days last summer) likely because my great friends from upstate New York came to town for four weeks. Yes, I’m somewhat distract-able by these two little girls. And it just so happens that these same girls just arrived in town again. I’ll see them lots over the next couple weeks I hope. But this isn’t about happy visits from cute kids, it is about the quest for career clarity and happiness.

Today I called an acquaintance who is also in a job search. We met at a wedding more than a handful of years ago. We keep in touch primarily via social media and that is how I knew she is in search mode. Turns out we share more than just mutual friends…we are both open to a wide variety of job options.

It was interesting to hear how she is working through the job search process. She has a spreadsheet to track jobs she is interested in applying for. She also keeps a running list of the things she does each day in her quest for work. And she is networking lots and lots. Good for me to hear her perspective and to get ideas for my own quest. And we agreed to support each other with a weekly check in. This is something I know works well for me so I’m happy to have connected with her. Hoping we both find our way to just the right thing!